I really liked Glee this week.

( Glee Spoilers. )

I.
A quote from my twitter that pretty much sums up my life right now:


Everything just seems so hard. I know that's because of stress and schoolwork. Still, I don't like drowning in problems. It unsettles me, being so out of control of my life and courseload. I'll make it work. I always do. I just wish these times of overwhelming stress and worry would go away for good.

II.
I received my Yuletide assignment, and I adore it! I have to keep it pretty secret, of course, even though I don't know my participant. I've been worried about it lately- I love the idea and will have so much fun doing it, of course. It's been so long since someone (other than my wonderful sister) told me that I could write well. I guess I'm losing faith in my writing abilities, wondering if I was ever any good. Regardless, I'm going to go all out on this assignment to make sure my recipient loves it.

III.
Also, I haven't been excited about hogwarts_elite anymore. I've always loved the community, and it's been like a happy escape for me for over a year now. I know that it had to end, and that they made the right choice doing it, but now most everyone else has seemed to lose steam as well. When was the last time we had puff!chat? Apart from the few awesome-participation posts that have been happening, it feels like everything's become a ghost town. That makes me sad. I want to motivate myself to care- but it feels like, this being the last term, I just can't motivate myself to do that. I'll keep trying, though.

IV.
Sorry if this is a pretty depressing post. You all know me- I'm usually pretty bubbly and excited about things. I guess this is just a point in my life where I miss having tons of friends who would hold me up when I was feeling down. That makes everything seem harder... but I'll break out of this soon. I wanted to post because I haven't been livejournal much and I feel disconnected from all my lovely flisters. ♥

Hey there, Yuletide Santa! I'm going to give you a long essay to help you out as much as I can. I know it seems like a lot- and you don't have to read it all!- but I thought it might be best to inundate you with information as opposed to leaving you with too little. :)



( Details beneath the cut )


♥ ♥ ♥

Sincerely,
krysti_ryou/
Cristina

♥



Can we pull through this avalanche?

Have you ever had one of those days when you looked back and all you could see were memories and people long since gone from your life? Today is one of those days for me. It's the strange tugging between nostalgia and pain, where I know that the past is over but I want to embrace it so much. Have you ever wanted to reverse time and preserve those good friendships, the ones that never should have ended but did, and make more memories, more moments that in hindsight are so good and amazing? I remember staying up until past midnight just talking with people, friends, who really knew and understood me. While the same thing happens nowadays, all of my new friends, especially at college, aren't as close as the old ones were. I know that time will draw me closer to my new friends, but the past seems so friendly and safe that it's hard to break through the nostalgia to something new and different. It's so strange that I only have these moments once or twice in a long while, but when I do, I envision all these lost memories and friendships of the last... and I wish it wasn't in my nature to lose touch with people. I'm horrible with keeping in touch, despite my best intentions. Ever since I befriended a little girl when I was in middle school and promised her I'd keep in touch... I've lost so many good friendships simply by one or both of us not staying in touch.

Then again, I try and get better with each friendship that I make and lose. So one day, maybe I'll stay in touch with everyone I meet and I won't miss out on any of those opportunities.

Every once in a while, I get into one of those pensive moods. Have you ever had them, where you think too much about everything and then end up thinking about things far too much? That's okay though... I think it's healthy to think too much sometimes. At least I hope it is.

Things that make me smile:

• Having a hilarious idea for the most recent h_e contest about Tom Riddle's diary.
• Wearing new shoes that are not only super cute but also amazingly comfortable.
• Greek history class and my hilarious upbeat professor.
• Realizing that although my TA for GH is a total ass, he's also really hot. In a wears Italian sunglassses and has fashion sense kind of way.
• The guy from the Subway. I know that I was only taking the subway one stop because I forgot my coat and it was freezing (and totally worth the $2+ trip) but thank you for being confident. Approaching a girl while waiting for the metro takes guts. I only wish I could have gotten your number, because you were breathtakingly gorgeous and also hilarious and sweet. Sorry for only being able to stay one stop! Although I'll probably never see you again, thanks for being so awesome (and giving an extra ego boost about my appearance today!).
• Talking about cat food in Spanish class (oh, how I miss Caspian and Alice!).
• Greek history class in general for maybe changing my major from anthropology --> ancient history of near eastern area.
• People in my Spanish class for starting a convo today about Knox Hall (even though none of us know where it is) and being generally friendly.
• So many other things that I'm forgetting right now.  ♥ ♥ ♥

edited to add:

looked down from a broken sky
traced out by the city lights
my world a mile high
best seat in the house tonight
♥